Whisper
by Nancy Wieschon
Summary: A girl from the past is trying to save her world. She travels to the future to find help - and finds so much more. While Sam and Jack try to remain friends despite the given reason - he tries to escape from the abyss. . . I don't know where the story leads us, but it promises fear, excitement and adventure for both of our characters. SAM/JACK; SAM/PETE
1. Prologue

Authors note: English is not my mother tongue, please be gracious - I am always open for tips and suggestions for improvement.

Hope you enjoy the Story :)

**Whisper - Schattenmelodie**

**Prologue**

**_2978 _****_B. C.  
Ancient Egypt, _****_Earth_**

Two weeks and five days ago her world, as well as the people who lived in it, was still in order. She remembered the last quiet evening before the crackling campfire in the centre of her tent village before thunder rolling took the sky. At that time she was not yet aware that her childhood would come to an end only a few weeks later. With curious, astonished eyes, the inhabitants of their village followed the metal creatures in the sky, as she did herselve. None but she seemed to realize that four pairs of eyes looked up neither surprised nor curious. Their eyes were narrowed to slits, their bodies tense.  
The girl's mother grabbed her hand and held it tight. She was so scared, so worried. When the girl now thought about it and knew what was going to happen, she would have taken her mother with her and they would have run, on and on, not to experience what they finally experienced.

This first, restless night was very cold and she still imagines it was the coldest she had ever experienced. Sleep was hard to think of and when she awoke for the first time, it was still dark in front of the narrow fabric windows. She heard voices whispering. Her mother cried.  
They wanted to hide the girl as soon as someone came, they called them Jaffa, they wanted to take the child to safety. Her mother wanted to come with her because she carried a child under her heart. But that was never supposed to happen.  
On the same night the hunters of the cat entered the modest Village.

She did not remember much, but the cruel, desperate cries would haunt her forever. Most of the children, including her, were quickly brought to safety. In the cool, dark tunnels below the village. They spent hours down there. Hours of thinking about their families. When they were led back to the surface, her father ran towards the girl. Since she can think, he's always been so strong and fearless. He was a hero in her childish eyes. Not right now. Empty eyes looked at her. He looked so desperate. So sad. And when he pulled her into a tight hug, she knew it meant only one thing. They took her mother. They stole his beloved wife. And he had been powerless.

Here she sat, two weeks and five days had passed, in the arid arms of her beloved Taisia. She helped her mother wherever she could, raised the girl with her and was there for all of them. Always. She was already old, strands of her white hair peered out under her brown headscarf. When the girl was smaller, she used her little fingers to trace the deep furrows around the old woman's mouth. Life, she always told her, that is life and time. She was already nine years old, nine years in which she thought time would flow so terribly slowly. She didn't feel that way anymore. In these last weeks so many friends had died. Yesterday they were still here and today just gone.  
The girl missed her mother's smile, her humming melodies, her soft hair, her warm lips and her unmistakable scent. And although her father had stayed with her, he was gone too. Trapped in his delusion and the thought of his beloved wife.

And so she held on to her beloved old Taisia. And so her father sat concentrated and upset with his friends of the new uprising in the big tent of the men. And so they planned to save all their friends and her mother.

Tonight they would all realize that they had already lost. Her friends had been dead for a long time and her beloved mother became an enchanting woman who was no longer her mother.

_**Present  
P4X7353**_

Dr. Damian Meyers wiped the sweat off his forehead for what he felt was the hundredth time. The sun was high in the blue sky and not a cloud was to be seen. This is gonna be another tough day. The black hair already stuck to his forehead, his dark eyes fixed the narrow, thin cable in his hand and again a drop formed on the tip of his nose. Once again he wiped his face with his arm, breathed deeply and devoted himself to his work. The telemetry system was almost finished. Not for long, and they'd be back home tomorrow night. At home it was early January, the white snow cover had already covered Colorado Springs weeks ago, but here, summer was in full swing.  
Five days they've already been on this goddamn planet. The days were overheated and the nights as cold as at home. Home. Soon he would be able to hold his wife Nancy and his children in his arms again.

„Meyers!" It cracked from his radio hanging from his breast pocket. Grinning, he snorted. Colonel Roberts was already tired of this overheated saucepan. Damian put the narrow cable out of his hand, grabbed his radio and pressed the small red button.

„I'm not ready yet, Colonel. The heat's not making it easy, but I guess if-"

„Doc!" Colonel Roberts interrupted. You could say a lot about Roberts, he was the very model of a soldier, strong, honorable, and believed only what he could grasp. But Robert's never interrupted anyone. Something was wrong.

„Yes?" asked Dr. Meyers hesitantly.

„Are you sure there wasn't an SG team on this planet before?"

Deep furrows formed on Damian's damp forehead, he looked around in wonder. Captain Pollack, the young soldier with the curly brown hair who sat in the shade of a nearby tree for the last half hour, approached him closer. Her facial expressions also revealed that this situation was different than usual. Her grey eyes pierced the narrow device on Meyer's breast pocket in confusion.

„You know the memo, Colonel," Mayers replied reluctantly. „Besides, the system's never been wrong before."

„Then you should break off and stop by here. We've discovered something."

Now a strange feeling spread through him and when he looked at Mona Pollack, he could see that she was doing the same. Colonel Roberts was a man whom nothing could get out of rhythm so easily.

„We're on our way," Damian said, setting himself in motion.

„What was that?" Pollack asked astonished.

„I don't know. The colonel's discovered something that's unsettling him. Didn't you notice this strange undertone in his voice," said the scientist, as he put the tool aside and grabbed his moss-green backpack, as did Pollack. Not a minute later they walked side by side towards the Stargate. It was surrounded by trees, in the middle of a pretty clearing in the woods. No paths, ways or anything else pointed to human life.

„Are we really the first here?" the young soldier asked nervous. From time to time she looked into the bushes they passed.

„According to the system, yes," Meyers replied and he also seemed nervous and tense.

„A computer error?"

„I doubt it," he disagreed and took his cap off his head. Again he wiped his wet forehead with his arm. „Our Stargate system is really well equipped. There are occasional error messages, but they only affect the dialing process."

„So a mistake cannot be completely ruled out," Mona Pollack said soberingly. „If the system allows error messages in the dialing process, it is possible that the system was wrong here too. Maybe there was already a team here, possibly before a system update, and this planet was. . . accidentally deleted or. . . or rewritten."

Smiling, Damian looked over at his partner. „Do I hear the curiosity of science from your thoroughly military mouth?"

Mona looked at him in disbelief and smiled timidly. „If you call that science, Doctor. Then every soldier out there is a Nobel Prize winner."

„Hurry, Meyers! Pollack!"

Abruptly Mona and Damian stopped. At the edge of the clearing Colonel Roberts stood and called loudly. Even from this distance, both realized that the experienced soldier was more than tense. For a moment they both looked at each other as if they were confirming something to each other that made them uncomfortable. This thing, whatever made Roberts nervous, seemed bigger than they thought.

Quickly they both stepped towards the red-haired man, who was waiting for them with narrowed eyes. As soon as they had reached him, he hurriedly walked towards the Stargate without removing his iron gaze from the doctor. He hands Meyers a small metal box, engraved and decorated on it, the symbol of the earth. Meyer recognized the box immediately. This was the sign of the Stargate Center, a kind of gift from Earth, for friends, allies and those who want to become friends. On the rectangular box lay a chain that every soldier carried far away in his homeland. A dog tag. However, the thin pendants were so damaged that nothing could be seen.

„That can't be possible," whispered Damian without slowing down, „This planet was on the list of gate addresses which we've never discovered before-"

„You're repeating yourself, Meyers," the colonel interrupted again.

„Possibly one of the missions that was more secret than secret," Pollack said and moved closer to Meyers to see the object better.

„Then we wouldn't be here," Damian Meyers replied soberly.

„Okey" Colonel Roberts quickly interrupted and stopped next to the MALP, „We're packing up. I don't feel like waking sleeping ghosts. Pollack! Clarkson!"

Immediately Pollack, standing right next to the colonel, and Major Clarkson, waiting not far away at the DHD, salute „Sir!"

„Retreat!" Roberts ordered and grabbed his moss green backpack.

While Major James Clarkson entered the Earth's home address into the DHD, Pollack and Roberts collected the rest of the equipment next to the MALP.

With a whirlpool of blue matter the stargate came to life and retreated into the metal ring.

„I'm curious about the general's face," James Clarkson said, as he entered the code into the transmitter.

Together the 4 persons stepped towards the event horizon and stepped through one after the other.

Dr. Damian Meyers stopped just before the blue horizon and looked behind him one last time. At that moment nobody knew that this little dirty box and this planet was hiding more than it appeared. The fate of the entire universe.


	2. Paper Planes

**Paper Planes**

**2978 B. C.  
Ancient Egypt, Earth**

_4 Month later…_

Her lung was aching. That was the only thing she really noticed. This pain kept her from stopping. This pain showed her that there were worse things. If she stopped, she wouldn't live long. If she was still crying she didn't know, the girl only felt this terrible pain.

„Malika!"

She could not stop, not slow down, not turn around to the Person who called her name. If it hadn't been for her, the one who gave her everything and took it all. Her lung would not burn, the hot grainy sand would not whip against her dirty face, and he would not chase her screaming.

„You can't go any further, Malika!"

Her mother was the reason she ran for her life. The girl with the long, brown hair owes her the pulsating under the skin and at the same time, in the shape of this woman, she was in danger of losing it. The cat alone was to blame for the wounds that ran over her skin, for the terrible pictures Malika would never forget, and for the delicate scars that clung in large numbers to her beating heart. Her mother was absolutely and irrevocably everything. And yet she wasn't to blame

„Please stop!"

Was he able to catch up? Had she lost speed and strength? But she had to leave this place, she wasn't allowed to look back, not now.  
The fine sand under her bare feet and the uneven dunes didn't make it easy to run. Malika, however, had the advantage over him of being smaller, lighter and younger. Almost daily she played in this sea of sand and dust. A happy time that ended in a gentle breath. Just like that.

Two strong arms finally grabbed the girl and pressed her against a trembling chest.  
„I must go on, let me go!" she shouted upset and tried to free herself from the firm grip. At that moment Malika realized that she had been trapped for far too long. Too many days in this dark, dirty hole. She had forgotten how to play.

„No!"

„If I stop, nothing will change!" Malika shouted out into nowhere. The sun was already touching the dry horizon and would soon disappear behind it. Strange that at such a bizarre moment she registered such things.

„Was it all for nothing?" he asked much more quietly than before. His broad hands grabbed around her scrawny, naked arms and this unmistakable scent blew around her. Fresh parchment and wet clay. Malika would never forget his curious look and his paper planes. Face to face they stood now. The pulsating vein on his wet neck proved to the girl that not only she alone had great trouble rushing through this damn desert. Like herself, he was littered with dirt. His once white linen shirt was a play of grey and brown.

„Damn it, Mali, come to your senses! We have to hide you, we've tried so hard to get you back. I'm not gonna watch them take you another time."  
Slowly he fell to his knees, but he wouldn't let go of her. „Think of Nahil, of Taisia, think of so many faces. Her death should be worth more than nothing, don't you think?"

„I can't help it. Let me go," she begged him and yes, she was still crying."Nothing will change, nothing at all, if I stop!"

„What are you hiding from me?" he asked quietly and looked at her insistently. But Malika could not look him in the eye, he would see too much in hers. Something she wasn't willing to reveal. So her green eyes stared past his cheeks. He gently stroked strand of hair behind her ear and tried to smile as cheerfully as he could. „You know you can trust me with anything."

„There are things in life that are more far-reaching than right or wrong," Malika quietly replied. She swallowed bitter taste down. Her father had suffered so much and Taisia, she was so old, so innocent. „The color gray has more shades than any other."

A sincere smile was playing around the corners of his mouth. He himself had taught the young girl this pun. Now she had understood. „We've long since left this palette behind."

Yes, they really did. Their tranquil, quiet tent village has been razed to the ground. Nothing was there anymore. No kids laughing, no voices, no campfires. Only tragic and cruel memories of a cold night. The few friends and acquaintances who survived and were not taken, hid in the small, destroyed pyramid far away from their old homeland. A place that didn't seem important to the cat. But as happy as Malika was that at least a small group had made it alive, it tore her apart to experience that there was still something like joy.

„Father's dead," the girl finally said. Sadly she looked up, at the grey glow in his brown hair. „Dead! Just gone!"

„Oh, Mali. Come here," he replied shocked, pulling her to his chest.

„I must try, Daniel," she whispered sadly.

„I'm so sorry," he replied calmly. His fingers gently stroked through her long hair. Her eyes were so dull, so different than he knew them. There was nothing left of her stubbornness, her childlike curiosity or joy. It laced his chest to see her like that. „But she's gone, Malika. You can't help your mother. No one can."

„Surrender?!" she asked indignantly and withdrew from his warm embrace.

„No," Daniel tried to calm her down. Slowly he straightened up. Malika saw a twitch that was chasing him through his body. The wounds had not healed yet and yet he had chased after her. „We just can't rush things, all we have left is each other. Once things settle down, we'll figure out what to do next. We're not giving up! We're smarter than them!"

„Why her? Why, Daniel?"

„I don't know," he replied calmly. He had lost as much as she had, if not more. Twice already he had to watch his friends die. He had lost the last piece of his homeland. „You have me, Mali. I won't leave you alone. No way."

„That's what they said, too," she replied quietly. She closed her eyes tightly. Why did all this have to happen? Why did they take away her simple, happy life?

„Listen to me! Do you hear me, Malika? You know what happened. You know what we, SG1, did to save what was once a mistake. This will certainly not change that."

„How can you be sure?" she asked. „She taught me so much and I know we have to warn them!"

„Not you," he said decisively.

„What?" she asked surprised and at the same moment the girl became aware of everything. He must have heard the conversation between her and her father. Back than, before she forgot how to play. „You know about it."

„He never should have told you,"; Daniel replied as he drove through his hair. „She begged us to protect you, how can I let you go?"

„How could you keep me here? I've lost everything," the girl replied stubbornly. Her hands were clenched in fists. What would she lose? She had a choice, and she'd take it at any price. „I know I could never imagine how dangerous it could get. Still, I have to do it, Daniel. For all of us. For her. For my parents."

He looked at her for a long time, Malika felt like a little eternity. His arms were crossed in front of his broad chest. „I'll come with you."

Slowly she shook her head and a whiff of a timid smile surrounded her rough lips. „You'll be waiting for me there."

Daniel's gaze wandered around briefly, then he grabbed her hand and pulled her with him. „Come on, we gotta go back."

Malika stopped abruptly. „But-"

„Hey. I'll take you to the Jumper, but we can't go that way," he calmed her down and pointed his head into the right place she wanted to go. „Quicksand. A lot of quicksand."

Undecided, the petite girl looked around. It wasn't far to her destination, but she didn't know her way around this area very well. So she took his hand more firmly and both went back the way. The oppressive heat was already subsiding and a weak stream of air was scurrying around from time to time. Soon darkness would envelop everything. Darkness that the cat liked to use to hunt. A shiver fell on Malika's tanned skin as she thought about the fact that she herself was prey to the predator. She never wanted to meet her again.

„When did he tell you about this? From the Transmitter and the Jumper," Daniel interrupted the oppressive silence without taking his eyes off the vast, tranquil landscape, the contours of which were clearly visible at dusk.

„The night the cat was faster than Taisia," she explained. Had it really only been a few months? Malika looked up to the grey sky, a few stars were already visible next to the pale moon. Once these glowing dots were the scaffolding for countless adventure stories at the campfire. But now she felt nothing but homesickness. Homesick for the safe arms of her parents and the soothing melody of her old Taisia."Daniel, let me go alone."

„The gate is constantly guarded, dozens of armed Jaffa. How are you going to get through this," Daniel explained. Smiling, he noticed the sagging of her narrow shoulders. She was such a stubborn girl. „Let's get to the Jumper first, see what the old box looks like, and get back to the camp. Everything else comes up. Anab and his boys have assured us of their support whenever we need it."

„They have wives and children, I don't want that!"

„This is war, Malika. They want the freedom that we achieved years ago and that everyone out there, including Anab, can still feel. Words alone sometimes don't help. I had to accept this fact at some point."

„But you didn't know about her and still insist on not changing anything?" Malika interjected. This thought had been in her head for weeks. „What if the future has already changed by her appearing, Daniel?"

He stayed silent. And when Malika looked up to look at him, he wrinkled his nose and touched the bridge of his nose. He only did this when someone said something he never wanted anyone to know.  
„Of course you thought of it," the girl finally replied.

Just like her father. Back then, a few days before they had been taken, her father expressed these thoughts. He had told her so much, explained so much and talked again and again about the stories in front of the campfire. He had also cried in secret, in silence and yet Malika had seen it. How much could such a strong man endure until he broke? He was powerless when they robbed his wife and just as powerless when he came to free his daughter. He died a broken man and his beloved wife did nothing about it.

„She would simply kill them all without batting an eye," Malika said so quietly that she believed Daniel had not heard her.

„She is no longer herself,"; he replied and put a hand on her shoulder. „It must be awful watching your hands kill. Strangers. Acquaintances. Friends. Without being able to do anything about it."

Again Malika looked up to look at him. His face was marked by pain. Daniel was not broken as her father was, but the man who was walking next to her was already bent.

„She can't even cry," she said sadly. That fact particularly hurt her. Her mother had inflicted so much pain on her loved ones, on her own family, and she had not shed a tear. How strong only this monster had to be.

„Do you have hope, Mali?" Daniel asked hesitantly. And when she didn't answer, he drove on. „Do you think she's still in there somewhere? Do you think she can be saved?"

The girl thought for a moment, thought of the lifeless face of her father, who lay at the feet of her smiling mother. „No"

Again silence took over the two wandering figures, but this time Malika noticed his worried look at herself. He didn't believe her testimony, that was clear to the girl. She was nine, a child, her father dead and the mother trapped in her own body, which was still alive. She has to hope, to believe that her mother would soon walk by her side again. As lovingly as Malika remembered her. Shouldn't she?

„I had hope," Malika finally continued. „When she was gone and I didn't know what was happening. Even when she looked at me, in her beautiful robe of gold and ivory, with those dark eyes that did not belong to my mother. I still believed in something, Daniel. And I was so confused when she. . . when she smiled lovingly. . . while I screamed in pain. Father, however. . . had hope till the end."

Daniel paused immediately and brought Malika to a standstill. His eyes were wide open. „Oh my God! Oh my God! Do you. . . where you there?"

Again her green eyes filled with salty wet. „I'll never forget it."

„Can you kill her when it counts?" he asked angrily. Amazed, the girl looked up at him. So angry, so fiery, she had never seen him before. And as if someone had punched him in the face, his escape was already over. „I'm sorry, Mali. I never should have asked you that. Sometimes I forget you're just a kid."

„And I, that you're not a soldier," Malika said with a little smile.

Daniel's lips, too, were filled with a touch of joy. Slowly he looked around and looked at the first bushes that both had seen for a long time. The smile around Daniel's corner of his mouth widened. „We're here, give me the device."

Malika's smile, however, was suddenly gone. Daniel was so busy looking at the surroundings that he didn't notice the change of the girl. Careful and careful not to make even the slightest noise, her hands grabbed behind her a cool object resting under the string around her waist. Slowly she pulled out the metal and pointed it at the unsuspecting man in front of her.

„The device, Mali, I need-" He stopped. Confused, his gaze glided over the zat in the hands of the young girl. He noticed the hasty tremor of her chest and the sound as she unlocked the weapon in her trembling hands.

„Don't Mali," he said carefully. But the girl with her eyes wide open fired a shot. Daniel collapsed, he didn't move. Hesitantly she lowered the grey metal and stepped to him. Gently she went to her knees and examined every detail of his facial features. She never wanted to forget him. „I'm sorry, but I don't want the Jaffa to be faster than you," she whispered, as if she was afraid he might wake up any second. „One of them would be."

Malika straightened up, clenched her hands into fists and pinched her eyes together. She had to finish it, but she was so scared. Hastily she pulled her belt of string until a brown bag appeared. Quickly she opened it and pulled out an object. She operated the elongated module, which felt so strange in her little hands, just as it was shown to her. Astonished, she looked at the Jumper that formed before her eyes. Never before had she seen such equipment. She walked towards it with reverence and stepped carefully into it. She had to hurry and so she searched for the items she needed. These were located exactly where they were described to her. She hurriedly filled her bag with the metal chains, a golden, curved piece of jewellery and the transmitter. When she left the Jumper, she never looked behind her. She ran again. It was already dark and the uneven dunes didn't make it any easier for her than before. But this time, no one would run after her. Nobody was there anymore. And while she hurried on and on, occasionally losing her balance and feeling the sand under her fingers, Malika thought back to her simple life. Tears ran down her dirty cheeks, this time she felt it. And she thought of a beautiful day with all her despair.

_When I wake up in the morning, I see the wind playing in the snow-white curtains of my little fabric window. The rising sun tells me that it is already six o'clock and I already hear my mum calling: „Get up, or you will be late for school."  
Still half asleep I answer her: „Please. . . let me sleep another three minutes."  
Every day I am late for school and the teacher sends me out of the barren classroom as a punishment. After school I go down to the river with my friends. We swim in the turquoise water, we laugh and have fun. Father comes some time later and stands proudly on the shore because I can stay under water for a few seconds longer. When dusk falls and the oppressive heat subsides, I sit by the campfire with my family. My feet play with the cool, soft sand. And all these little things make me really happy. I'd like to live this normal life again. So much._

There it was. So quiet, lifeless and powerful. The gateway to the universe. And as Daniel had feared, dozens of armed Jaffa stood before it. Malika loosened the loop around the brown bag and pulled out the piece of jewellery. She looked devoutly at the small, curved device in her hands. This was her escape route, her hope for change. A narrow, oval piece of gold with a flat, green stone set in it. Her heart did bumpy beats, she was so afraid. But she couldn't hesitate any longer. Daniel was certainly already conscious and on his way here. She had come this far, less than ten metres separated her from the Stargate. Malika closed her eyes and exhaled strongly, then touched the stone on the golden ground. The Stargate came to life, without any sound, as if someone had gently opened a fan. The Jaffa were immediately distracted and pointed their weapons at the gate. Quickly, but still anxious not to be seen, Malika hurried hidden behind a dune to the gate. The last meters were open land and so the dirty girl ran towards the blue mirror in front of the Jaffa. Behind her, she heard shots of staff weapons. Sand and dust were stirred up. Sand that burned in her eyes. Please, she prayed to something or someone out there in the wide world, please let me do it.

„Jaffa! Kre!"

Malika knew this voice and froze abruptly. It was quiet. So Quiet. Her chest raised and lowered hastily. The pulsation in her ears was suddenly unbearably loud. Not a metre from her, it shimmered like the river of a beautiful day. She waited for her end, for endless blackness or deep sleep. But nothing happened. Slowly she turned away from the blue and looked over her shoulder. There he stood. Strong, proud and so full of strength. Dressed in a magnificent uniform of gold metal and white ivory. Thick fabric of black velvet blew behind him like the flame of a campfire. And no matter what had happened, what had become of him. As soon as Malika saw his face, she recognized a friend in it. It was he who had taught her how to handle the weapons of warriors. Weapons which, as Malika now knew, were cruel companions of the monsters who were responsible for the destruction of her world. The Jaffa in the beautiful, noble armour was now one of them. One of the monsters that chased Malika.

„Teal'C! Stop!"

It all happened so fast. Daniel stood high up on one of the dunes surrounding the Stargate. Wildly he moved his arms over his head and screamed over and over again that his former friend should protect the young girl's life. The noble Jaffa, without any sign of emotion, directed his staff weapon at the man whose voice trembled with sorrow and disengaged it. Malika took a quick step forward to prevent Daniel from being killed by a friend. But when her anxious look found him, she recognized a timid shaking of his head. There was a silent plea in his eyes. She should flee immediately, away from the moment he had made possible for her. Malika firmly pinched her wet eyes together and turned away from the action. Even before the icy vortex of the wormhole had completely captured her, she heard the dull impact of a staff weapon.


	3. Pandora

**Pandora**

**Present Day**

**Samantha Carters House, Earth**

_Twenty-three years ago, my mother died in a car accident. My father had been blaming himself for years. Could he have stopped it, if he had set his alarm back five minutes that morning?_

Lost in thoughts, she looked to the wide window. Only a few rays of sunlight came through. Rays of sun, that touched the broad bed. She could see tiny parts of dust dancing in it.

_Eighteen years ago I signed a document obliging me to complete the basic training of the US Air Force._ _Would I have enrolled at a prestigious university that day, if my mother never have gotten into that taxi?_

Her gaze glided from the dancing particles down to the dark grey duvet cover, which was decorated with fine ornaments. Her hand gently stroked over one of the filigree lines, which was illuminated by dimmed light. It was warm there.

_Ten years ago, I was called in on a project at the highest security level. A ring of a material that does not exist on earth, made me closer to the universe, than a simple glance at thousand stars. Would I have ever met Jonas Hanson, if I never have become part of the Air Force?_

Gently she pulled her hand back, turning onto her back. Quietly. She didn't want to wake the person next to her. Her narrow fingers found their way to her naked neck and streaked over cool metal.

_Eight years ago, I walked through the Stargate for the first time. You never forget a first time. What would have changed, if I had never been able to initiate the dialing program? Teal'C would still be the first primus of Apophis. Daniel might still be giving lectures in front of empty chairs and General O'Neill might have found the time to get together with Sara, to get over their mutual loss._

Thin stainless steel wrapped itself lightly around narrow fingers until she finally felt the pendants. Two metal leaves. A ring.

_And I wouldn't be lying in that dusky room thinking about all this._

She said yes.

She had agreed to walk by his side. Agreed, to live with him the life she had so often longed for. But why couldn't she get rid of that damn feeling inside her? A feeling of insecurity, emptiness and loss. She'd win so much.

_81 days ago I accepted his proposal and made an unspoken promise to Pete with this ancient gesture. Would it be easier for me to keep this promise, if I had never met Jack O'Neill?_

Her alarm clock rang, the person next to her moved and Sam was back in reality. Gently the ring slipped out of her hand, gently she opened the soft duvet and leisurely she left the insulated room. Without looking back.

Like every morning.

Since 81 days.

**Cheyenne Mountain Complex, Earth**

Paper mountains. Files about files piled up on his wide desk, the same desk where Hammond had been sitting for years. But Jack couldn't remember ever seeing this mass of paper on his desk. Somehow one had to become master of this file empire.

Just how on earth?

How?

An idea seemed to form in his mind.

Grinning, the general looked over at the shredder. Should he? No. It should be done without the elimination of these thoroughly important documents. On the other hand-

„Jack."

Frightened, the General looked to the entrance of his office. He really didn't want to use the shredder. Really.

„Daniel."

„Everything okay?" the archaeologist asked hesitantly. Jack's guilty facial expression did not escape him.

„Sure," Jack replied quickly, reaching for one of the countless files. She was blue. „What's up?"

„Oh, um… it's about the misson with SG9 and discoveries I might have not shared with you."

„Did you?" Jack asked indifferently and opened the blue file. A mission report from SG3, friendly contact, P5G-

„Yes."

For a moment, it was completely silent. Slowly and calmly Jack looked up and fixed the nervous face of his visitor.

„What the hell. . . why?" O'Neill finally grumbled angrily.

„I didn't want Dr. Donovan to know anything," Daniel explained anxiously. „I'd have to talk to you about her, too. The expedition wasn't as boring as I told you."

„Really?"

Jackson looked at his friend suspiciously and when Jack didn't answer anything else, the archaeologist hesitantly held out a stone tablet to him. „We've discovered this."

Reluctantly, O'Neill lowered his gaze to look up the stone slab in Daniel's hands. He was angry, definitely, but he tried to stay calm.

„I've never seen the signs on it before. There is a resemblance to Celtic cuneiform writing, but my attempts to translate this were futile. This, for example," Daniel explained feverishly, pointing to the lowest passage of the text. „According to my first guess, this would be translated called, berries flying over green clouds."

„Stupid," the general replied and asked himself at once how the man before him was only able to decipher such scribbles at all.

„Yes," the scientist agreed, lost in thoughts. „I'm on it. I'm going through the databases."

„Well. . . and what's this got to do with Donovan?" Jack asked.

„She had it with her when she was with us again," Daniel explained without taking his eyes off the table.

„She was gone?" He really wanted to stay calm.

„Well. Not really," stuttered Daniel and looked up.

„So she wasn't gone?"

„Uh, not physically, no."

„Daniel," Jack said warningly, and stood up.

„The lab was equipped with various technical equipment and you can imagine how pleased Donovan was-";

„Get to the point," interrupted O'Neill.

„She fainted when she had studied various crystals," Daniel finally admitted. The archaeologist looked at his counterpart suspiciously.

„And you didn't tell me, because?" Jack asked - now visibly angry. „Damn Daniel. You know the protocol, and I'm extremely close to banishing you."

Confused, Jackson set up his glasses. „Because I left out that little thing?"

„Yes!"

„We kept something from Hammond all the time," Jackson quickly defended himself.

„Yeah. . . but now I'm the boss," Jack replied outraged.

„And we'll keep no more secrets from the boss," Daniel noted hesitantly.

„Smart guy," Jack said close as he reached for the red telephone.

„I must have overlooked the memo," Daniel mumbled quietly and got a warning look from the general.

„Convene Doctors Donovan and Sheffield immediately. I'm on my way."  
Jack hung up and pointed with raised finger to the traitor . „You're coming with me!"

At least, thanks to Daniel, he escaped the paper monster on his desk.

He didn't look back.

Both men hurriedly walked along the grey, bare corridor of the underground facility. It was because of situations like this that he never wanted to be boss. And somehow the universe and everything around it was completely against Jack O'Neill. He missed the field with all its facets and now he was forced to fight monsters of paper and ink. He started to hate his job. His job and so much more. But he didn't want to think about that. Not now, not later, never.

„Jack," Daniel interrupted his thoughts and tried to keep up with the general. „Does it really have to be? I mean,we're fine, and. . . well,as long as it stays that way,we don't have to steal Dr. Brightman any really valuable time."

Jack stopped abruptly, Daniel almost pushed into him. Hesitantly, O'Neill turned to the archaeologist. „Okey. Out with it!"

„What?" Daniel asked lightly.

„What else are you hiding from me," Jack raked skeptically.

„To protect Dr. Donovan's privacy, I don't necessarily want to go into detail, but-"

„But?" O'Neill repeated and looked at his friend closely.

„This thing shouldn't be in the report," Daniel finally gave of himself.

„And I'm supposed to judge this even though you don't explain to me-";

UNAUTHORIZED ACTIVATION FROM OUTSIDE - I REPEAT - UNAUTHORIZED ACTIVATION FROM OUTSIDE The metal voice sounded through the speakers and immediately interrupted the men's conversation.

„We'll talk about this again, Daniel," Jack replied warningly and ran towards the control room. Daniel followed.

When both men entered the room, the Iris was already closed.

„Sergeant?" Jack asked quickly, looking down at the Stargate. Only a blue glimmer gave an idea of the event horizon.

„No encoding code, sir."

„Iris remains closed," General O'Neill replied without looking away from the gate.

„Any SG team expected?" Daniel inquired.

„No," Jack replied, and looked over at his friend. „According to **protocol **not."

„Got it," Daniel murmured quietly and turned away. He looked down at the four soldiers in the gate room. They positioned themselves rhythmically and that, he thought, was very impressive. Even though he still could not win much over the Air Force, it was amazing to see how autonomous each individual soldier behaved. In harmony with the whole. A contradiction in terms.

„Reveiving encoding code from-" he heard Walter say, staring puzzled at the monitor in front of him.

„Harriman?" Jack raked carefully.

„SG7, sir."

SG7. A cold shiver fell over Jack's tanned skin. SG7, missing four months ago. The first SG team under his command which went M. I. A. They returned. They came home.

„Open the Iris!" Jack shouted loudly and reached for the loudspeaker on his left. „Position soldiers! Medical team to the Stargate room!"

Suddenly everything happened very quickly.

Just a moment ago Daniel was watching four soldiers in the goal area and now a dozen more armed people were joining them. The thin, silver plates of the iris retreated in a faltering yet supple manner, thus releasing the shimmering event horizon . Daniel looked over to his friend and a wave of relief immediately took over him. Jack had made himself such accusations when SG7 did not return on time. Never returned. Jack O'Neill hadn't said it, of course, but Daniel, Teal'C and Sam knew it anyway. Not for nothing did these four people stand side by side for almost a decade.

A short moment later a person stepped through the blue horizon and immediately collapsed.O'Neill's figure hurried Quickly past Daniel and everyone else down to the Stargate room. Jackson quickly followed him.

When Daniel arrived at the ramp to the gate, General O'Neill was already kneeling in front of the person who had just stepped through the stargate. One person, Jackson thought, swallowing down bitter taste. SG7 consisted of four members.

The Stargate was already closed and more than a dozen people were buzzing around. Daniel ignored what was going on around him. He focused solely on Jack and the woman kneeling before the general.

„Hey, Pollack, nice and easy," Jack said to her gently. „What happened? Where's your team?"

Confused, Mona Pollack looked around and seemed completely lost. Her clothes, the rest of her moss-green camouflage uniform, hung down in shreds on her dirty body.

„Sir?" asked the young soldier distraught. „Am I back, sir?"

Jack looked at the woman in front of him with a dismayed expression. Her face was strewn with cuts, wounds and dark spots. Nevertheless, he tried to be master of the situation as Hammond had shown him all these years.

„Yes, everything's fine, you're back Captain. It's all good," he replied calmly.

Hesitantly O'Neill put his hands around her upper arms to fix her, to give her some hold. Meanwhile, the medical team prepared a transport couch. The soldiers had already withdrawn. O'Neill was only marginally aware of all this.

„They're dead," Captain Pollack said desperately, looking straight into Jack's brown eyes. „All dead, sir!"

Jack was paralysed by her loss, by the loss of the entire unit. What could he possibly say in response to that statement? He was glad when Dr. Brightman released the young soldier from his grip and took her with him. However, he still did not know how to cope with such an event. How he could make such an event understandable to the soldiers and the members of this institution. He didn't even know how to cope with it by himself

„Jack?"

Gently the general turned away from the Events around him and looked up to his friend. Daniel was standing on the ramp to the stargate, right next to him. The archaeologist held a box in his hands, a metal box he knew only too well. Concerned, Daniel looked at the man in front of him.

When General Jack O'Neill sat at his desk again a few hours later, he ignored the chaos. Ignored the paper mountains. Even the blue file in front of him, which was still open, did not attract his attention. Again and again Captain Pollack's words echoed through his mind. Words that made even a soldier like him shiver. Her team had killed each other in the most brutal way. The young soldier survived this nightmare only because she hid all those months. Hardly sleep, hardly food. But the horrible feeling in itself of never being safe. Only this simple metal box with the sign of the homeland on it, gave her comfort and hope. She eventually killed Colonel Roberts and was able to return home.

„How's Captain Pollack?"

Jack looked up and naturally his gaze stuck to her. Just a moment. Not any more. Some things would never change.

„Not so well" he replied calmly and looked at the metal box in Carter's hands. SG1 entered his office together. „What have we here?"

He really didn't want to talk about it. Not with those three people in front of him. No one.

„The box the captain had with her. In it we found a brooch and a kind of diary. The brooch is going through some tests. Pollack also had a seond dog tag on her that was pretty badly damaged, she's being reconstructed right now, sir," Sam answered objectively, but her blue eyes were anchored with his brown ones. Carefully. Sympathetic. He pulled himself together, she was sure of it.

O'Neill lowered his gaze back to the metal box. Escapingly. Tired. She knew him to well.

„SG7 found the dog tag on P4X7353, along with the box. Wouldn't suprise me if the dog tag is Roberts or Clarksons," Jack said, without taking his eyes off the metal box. „How long will the reconstruction take?"

„By tonight at the latest, we'll know whose it is. As for the brooch, I can't tell you anything more specific yet, sir."

„Good," he said and looked over at Daniel. „And the diary?"

„I read something in it, English, that makes it easy," Daniel explained while his fingers were touching brown leather. „The person who wrote this was on the run. She mentions beings she calls the Shadows and she mentions a Goa'Uld aswell."

Now six pairs of eyes lay on the archaeologist.

„Of course a snakehead is mentioned," O'Neill replied immediately and closed his eyes. Could this day get any worse?

„Entry number 4," Daniel began to read. „Today it was very close, but now I'm sure it's the shadows. They're following me. I have no clue how they were able to track me down, the cat is probably much stronger than we assumed. That scares me."

„And the Goa'Uld?" Jack raked in confusion.

„The cat," Daniel quickly explained. „In Egyptian mythology, only one goddess was depicted in the form of a cat-"

„Bastet," Teal'C interrupted monotonously and it seemed he hadn't even moved.

„Exactly," Daniel said and went on. „The Egyptians worshipped her as the goddess of fertility, who was often portrayed as a cat or woman with a cat's or lion's head. As the goddess of fertility and love, Bastet also acted as the protector of pregnant women. She is also the goddess of joy and dance."

„I remember a red-haired Goa'Uld," Jack responded annoyed. „Are there no indications in the book who owns it?"

„No, not that, but it's called a planet," Jackson replied quickly and leafed through. „Entry number 27 - I've already stopped counting. At the beginning of my journey it was exciting and so incredibly fascinating to enter strange worlds. But now I just want to go back to my world, so gladly. I know this is impossible, I know they have to find me first and this fact worries me. What if they never find me? What if Utebanumaat has to become my home?

When Daniel looked up afterwards, six pairs of eyes looked at him again. This time, however, his friends looked at him without understanding.

„Ut - eb - a - nu - ma - at. This is the address," he explained slowly. „We should take a look at this."

„For what reason, Daniel?" O'Neill asked.

Daniel looked at him stunned. „Maybe we can find the owner of the diary, maybe we can figure out exactly what happened and help, maybe-"

„Maybe this whole thing is a trap," Jack interrupted sharply.

„What for?"

„Daniel?"

„What's the point? The book, the cryptic naming of an address, the brand on which nothing can be recognized. Why go to so much trouble to cover everything up, only to find it? That doesn't sound like an ambush."

„Daniel Jackson is right, O'Neill," Teal'C agreed with him and took a step closer to Jack's desk. „The Goa'Uld are too arrogant to pay so much attention to an ambush."

„All right. And what if the author of this first work is already dead," Jack threw soberingly into the round.

„Then at least we tried," Daniel finally said and closed the diary in his hands. „Jack, SG7 had found this diary and-… SG1 has no missions on the schedule for the next few days, let's at least see what's on the planet."

„Negative."

„But-"

„Daniel, I've got six teams out there right now, let's wait and see what kind of trouble they'll get home with, before I send SG1 out, okay?"

„But Jack, just listen -"

„Carter!" the general interrupted out loud and turned to the blonde woman without really looking at her. „Inform me immediately as soon as you receive feedback regarding the dog tag or you find out what the piece of jewellery has so on it. Dismissed."

„Yes, sir," Sam replied immediately as she was searching his eyes. He wouldn't let it happen. Not this time. They were to blue.

The general reached for his pen, looked down at the blue file and ignored the team in his office. Sam looked at him sadly for a moment before she turned to the other two men and indicated to them to leave the room.

At lunchtime there was a lot of activity in the canteen, it was loud , a lot of People sitting around and it smelled of so many different dishes. Yet before her stood only a simple white cup. Coffee. Black. Some milk.

For SG1 there were no missions on the agenda for the time being and this hand brooch in her laboratory provided hardly any information. It was a piece of jewellery and energy escaped from it. That's all Sam had. It was frustrating.

'Jewellery and my laboratory definitely didn't fit together,' Sam thought and grabbed the warm porcelain tighter. "Not again," she murmured to herself and closed her eyes. 'Don't think about it. Not at him.'

„What's the matter with him?"

Surprised, she opened her eyes. Daniel and Teal'C stepped into her field of vision and settled opposite her. The Jaffa looked at the lonely cup in her hands, then he looked into her face. Unemotional.

„Maybe we could find out what happened to the rest of SG7," Daniel said ."Or why and how the person who wrote this Diary got his hands on our box. Or we even would have got the chance meeting this person."

„Jack O'Neill is currently carrying a heavy load on his shoulders, Daniel Jackson," Teal'C replied calmly, not taking his eyes of Sam. A faint smile surrounded his mouth.

„I've already decrypted the address, the Utebanumaat symbols have already passed through the program. It's not a planet we visited before," Jackson explained, reaching for his cutlery. „Besides, it would be a pure clearing misson. I just don't understand him."

„The decision has already been made," Teal'C said calmly. His eyes looked sadly at the woman in front of him.

„Sam, I know the whole thing with SG7 is very close to Jack, but can't you try to talk to him again?" Daniel asked casually and poked into his macaroni. Carter, however, was still staring at the Jaffa.

„No," she replied monotonously.

Daniel paused in amazement. „No?"

Shocked at her own testimony, Sam looked at Daniel. The behaviour of the Jaffa had completely overrun her. She moistened her dry lips, looked over to Teal'C again before hesitantly answering. „The General has made his point clear and I can understand it. In his posission, I wouldn't have decided otherwise."

She quickly grabbed the white cup, ignored the confused expression on Daniel's face and stood up. „The brooch is waiting. See you around."

Before one of the men could reply, she had already stepped out through the grey door.

„That was strange," Daniel murmured perplexed.

„Indeed."

Slowly Jackson turned to his friend and looked at him suspiciously. „Do you know anything I don't?"

„No."

And when Daniel devoted himself again to his macaronis, he overlooked the hint of a smile on Teal'C's face.

Frustrated, Sam put her head in her hands. Her eyes were closed and she could not suppress the feeling that something important was missing from her. Something about this brooch seemed familiar to her, but she just couldn't figure out what it was. The golden ornament was curved filigree with an oval green gem set in it. A gemstone that did not exist on earth. Hesitantly, she opened her eyes again. She was sure that she had already seen this hand jewelry. Just where?

„Colonel Carter, you asked for me?"

Sam straightened up and looked at the entrance of her laboratory. There stood Teal'C, suggesting a polite bow.

„Yes, thanks for coming by so quickly, it's about the brooch," she replied smiling and pointed to the device in front of her. „Have you ever seen anything like this before?"

The Jaffa approached meekly and looked at the brooch insistently. „This piece of jewelry looks familiar."

She looked up in amazement. She was on the right track. She had already seen the brooch. Anywhere. Just like Teal'C.

„Yes, I feel the same way. I just don't know where I could have seen it," she replied hesitantly. Thoughtfully she pulled her lower lip between her teeth. „Is it Goa'Uld technology?"

„No," Teal'C replied.

He didn't look at her when he spoke and somehow Sam was glad that the Jaffa didn't say more. The incident in the canteen was more than enough for one day. Even though she still wasn't sure if she had just imagined his behavior. Teal'C was a steadfast warrior, a man difficult to read. Even after so many years it was not possible for her to see through him. Only if he allowed it to happen.

A ringing finally took her out of her confused thoughts. Apologizing, she smiled at Teal'C as she hurried to the phone. „Carter."

Motionless the Jaffa looked at her concentrated figure. Her eyes fixed a spot on the rough concrete floor. „That was pretty fast, thank you."

She hung up and hurried over to her narrow laptop.

„Reconstruction of the dog tag is complete," Sam quickly explained. She opened the report that was announced to her on the phone, paused and began to read. A moment later, her eyes widened.

„That's not possible," she whispered in astonishment.

Hesitantly, Jack went towards the lab. Her lab. The last time he entered this room, he looked at a small black case containing a ring in it that was now haunting his nightmares. Dreams he repressed. As now. As always. As it should be. Bcause he was the boss. Her boss. Like a mantra he repeated the last words in his mind and walked into the laboratory.

SG1 was already completely present. While Teal'C stood rigidly in the corner next to the entrance, Daniel read quietly in the diary. Only Sam looked at him. Again, he couldn't ignore her blue eyes. The mantra was forgotten.

„The reconstruction is complete," she explained not taking her eyes off him.

„Well, and?" he replied quickly, he on the other hand took his eyes off her. O'Neill stepped further to the wide laboratory table and inspected the equipment on it. Not really.

„It's your dog tag, sir."

„Mine?" O'Neill asked surprised. Daniel and Teal'C also looked astonished at Sam.

„Yes," Sam replied hesitantly. Jack didn't like this at all. If Carter hesitated, she was insecure and as soon as she was insecure - he just didn't like it.

„But", he pressed out.

„But not either," she finally said.

„Carter?"

She turned away from her superior and pointed to her laptop. „O'Neill, Jonathan, U. S. AF, B positive."

„Suits me," Jack narrowly confirmed.

Sam grabbed her laptop and pushed it over to the general so he could look at the screen. „Except for the personal identification number, sir. It's not yours."

„And. . . what does that tell us?" Jack asked, perplexed. He looked up. His gaze lingered on Carter. Blue eyes looked back at him. These damn blue Eyes. Jack quickly looked away. Where did his damn Mantra go. Absent, he reached for the metal box in front of him.

„Exactly!" Daniel suddenly yelled out loud. All those present looked up in surprise.

„Do you want to share your enlightenment with us, Danny boy?"

„Um. . . yeah, I'm just looking for the right entry," Daniel murmured. "Here! Entry number 12 - Today it's finally over. The last few weeks have been very exhausting for my mind and body. He constantly tells me how important all this is, that I should not give up and look forward, but the more time passes, the more difficult it becomes for me.

„You think the person's talking about General O'Neill?" Teal'C asked while he looked at the box in Jack's hands.

„Well, it would fit," Daniel replied, and when he noticed Jack's perplexed expression, he quickly added, „I mean, not you."

This obviously helped little. Jack's facial expressions didn't change, but Sam nodded thoughtfully. O'Neill could already hear gears rattling in her head.

„An alternative timeline," she finally said with a small smile. „That would explain the different registration numbers."

„Contrary to the second theory," Daniel agreed with her just as smiling.

„Kids," the general said, annoyed. Both scientists did this all the time. For gods sake!

„Well, sir," Sam started explaining. „If you are the person mentioned, another you, then it is more likely that this is an O'Neill from a different timeline than a O'Neill from a different time."

This explanation did not help him either. Somewhere between time and time, he had lost it.

„Sure" he replied briefly and continued to devote himself to the metal box.

„But why all this?" Daniel threw in. He had already put the leather book out of his hands. „I mean, if someone out there needs help and another Jack is helping him, but they can't get any further. Why don't they contact us?"

„We don't know the background, Daniel Jackson."

„Teal'C is right," Sam agreed with him. „We don't know the motives. Maybe they can't contact us. Maybe it would be too risky or-"

A loud bang interrupted the conversation at the moment and eight pairs of eyes looked to the ground. That's where the box Jack had been holding did land. Slowly six pairs of eyes looked up and looked at the petrified face of the general.

„Ooops."

Outraged, Sam glanced at her superior. O'Neill, however, ignored it by quite concentratedly removing a lint from his arm.

When Sam tried to pick up the box, she noticed the pressed in inner panel. This was impossible, however, because this material was designed to withstand much more than a simple fall from a height of one meter. Unless it was a double bottom. She quickly broke out the rest of the plate until it was completely broken out. She knew the device behind it all too well.

Gently her fingers grabed around black plastic. With her eyes wide open, she looked up. „A GDO."

„Well, great, that's typical," Jack O'Neill replied outraged and ripped his arms up in the air. „Daniel gets what he wants again."

„What?" Daniel asked perplexed.

SG1 looked confused at the general, who in turn pointed to the device in Carter's hands. „I guess I'm not the only one here who wants to know who the hell out there had access to a transmitter. . . has. Whatever."

**Jack O'Neill's house, Earth.**

Quietly he closed the door behind him and he stood in the dark. Only the weak moonlight, which broke through the windows, gave a touch of light. More than gray-shaded outlines were nevertheless not to be recognized.

He now knew what had become of SG7. One ghost less to haunt him tonight. What a damn day. Again. Jack walked further into the large room, over to the cupboard next to the TV. It was still dark.

He pulled out a bottle, grabbed a glass and went over to his wide armchair. His eyes already were used to the darkness.

_Why did I have to meet you?_

Jack reached for the colourless liquid, filled the glass in front of him and shortly afterwards the alcohol ran burning down his throat.

_Eight damn years already I've been waiting for this one moment. To finally put into words what you mean to me. But I am forbidden this simple privilege. And now I'm sitting here. In my goddamn house. Alone. In the dark. With my buddy Vodka. The right moment will never come. I'm sorry._

Again Jack reached for the colourless bottle, again a glass was filled and again the liquid ran burning down his throat.

_A toast to the Air Force, the institute I pledged allegiance to. So much have I given for them, so much risked, and what is my reward? They've built a damn wall. A wall of duty, respect, rules and regulations. A wall in front of which every good soldier turns back. A soldier like Colonel Samantha Carter._

Again Jack reached for the colourless bottle, another glass was filled and again the liquid ran burning down his throat.

_What's left in between? A secret love. Meeting in the dark. Sex in secret. The cliché of an affair. Sam's not the woman for it. She's not a woman who deserves a warm bed after work. No. She's a woman who deserves a damn warm house. With all the trimmings._

Again Jack reached for the colourless bottle, another glass was filled and again the liquid ran burning down his throat.

_But not Pete. Damn it, not that cop. God, Sam, not him!_

Again Jack reached for the colourless bottle, again a glass was filled and again the liquid ran burning down his throat.

_Why did I have get to know you? Why do I to still want you? Why you god damnit!_

The outlines around him began to dance, faster, faster and faster. Everything around him seemed to be spinning wild.

Every night.

Since 82 days.


End file.
